Hazel

July 19, 2006 - Things have moved very fast to this point. Just a few weeks ago, I had no idea I was even sick and now I'm about to undergo the most extensive surgery of my life. When you have jobs and a kid, there's alot of logistics required for an overnight hospital stay. We went through 3 or 4 basic plans before finally deciding to leave Mason with my grandmother overnight. This is my grandmother we're talking about, not Mason's. So we're talking about leaving a 5 year old who runs 100 miles a minute from morning til night with an 84 year old woman. As you can imagine, I'm not feeling 100% good about this but all things considered, it made the most sense.

Michelle and I arrived at the Sidney Kimmel Comprehensive Cancer Center about 15 minutes late for our 9:45am appointment. Now, I don't wish the need for cancer surgery on anyone but if you or someone you care about ever has to go through this, I highly recommend Johns Hopkins if you can make it to Baltimore. This is one of the premier institutions in the world for cancer care and research and it is completely patient and family focused. We were made to feel very comfortable from the moment we arrived. There were no forms to complete, no documents to sign and we hardly had to wait before being greeted by a doctor. I was glad to see that my dad was already there which was an unexpected surprise.

A young doctor who worked for Dr. Califano came out and presented me with information on two clinical studies for which I qualify. They are part of an effort to develop early detection tests for cancer. I signed the consent forms without really reading them because I figured if it was going to help them help someone else, I was willing to do it. Soon after, I was called into the pre-op area where I would spend approximately 45 minutes getting prepped before my family could come in and join me. Here is a picture of me in the pre-op area right before surgery.



This is where I met Hazel. Hazel was one of the nurses who attended to me, drawing blood and administering my IV line. She radiated compassion, but in a commanding way which made it clear that you better not step out of line and that went for doctors and patients alike. This was her world and she was in control. I asked Hazel how long she had been doing this and she replied, "Honey, longer than you've been on God's good earth." It occured to me that the world has changed quite a bit in the time that I've been on God's good earth and in that time, I am quite sure Hazel had suffered more than her share of indignities and prejudices at the hands of the very people she was tasked with caring for. Unfortunately, many cancer patients are older, often alone and angry. I can well imagine that their reaction to Hazel would be shaped by the intolerant world in which they lived. I know this because there was a time in my life when I could rightly be accused of intolerance myself.

Yet here she was. After all these years, Hazel was still providing care for cancer patients. As she taped up my IV line, she drew a little picture on the tape which I eventually realized was a face with a halo above it. Hazel asked me if I knew who this was and for some reason, I thought she was going to say my mother although she could not have known that my mother had passed away three years ago. She pulled a small photo with a prayer written on it from her lapel pocket and told me that it was someone she carried with her at all times... her guardian angel. She then held my hand and just sat with me for a minute or two. You see, even though we had only really made small talk, Hazel knew that I was scared and anxious. Her small gesture, while silly and cute was to me very profound and I felt peace at that moment prior to going in for surgery.

If doctors provide science to medicine, nurses like Hazel surely provide the art.