It's been 10 years since I was diagnosed with Head and Neck Squamous Cell Carcinoma... cancer. I started this blog to share the many emotions, fears, experiences and, hopefully, triumphs that I will face throughout this journey. I have two goals for this blog, 1. To gain some degree of personal therapeutic benefit and, 2. To help others who may one day face a similar struggle by detailing the process of diagnosis, treatment and recovery so that they may know what to expect.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Just Another Day

April 9, 2008 - First, to answer all of the emails I've received, I am still here and (to the best of my knowledge) am still fine.

Today I did something that less than two years ago, I really wasn't sure I would be able to do. I celebrated my 37th birthday. It was uneventful really. My gift to myself was taking my son to a baseball game and having an opportunity to spend time with him... an opportunity to watch him enjoy being a kid. I honestly can't think of a better way to spend a day.

I feel like the concept of 'birthday' has changed for me. In a way, I think it should no longer be about the day that I was born but more about the day I was re-born. By that I mean the day I ended my treatments and began the long process of recovery because for someone with cancer, its at that moment that life begins anew. That is the anniversary we should celebrate because between each one is a year's worth of days no longer taken for granted. A birthday should be a celebration of life not a subtle reminder that we are inching ever closer to our eventual deaths.

But inch ever closer we do. I think that on the milestone birthdays especially, (30, 40, 50, etc.) the natural tendency is to look back and realize how quickly the years have passed. When time becomes the most precious commodity as it is for those with cancer, the realization of how quickly it passes is heightened tremendously. A day passed is a day lost. But at the same time, for me the next three years feels like an eternity that I long to be able to put behind me so I can reach the coveted 5 year cancer-free mark. It is truly a strange paradox.

For now though, I'll enjoy what's left of my day.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey!

Happy birthday! I know I'm late with this salute...but only yesterday evening red your blog first time.
I'm sorry because of my bad english, I'm hungarian. I try to write correctly, but I'm not perfect in the english language.

So, I hope I can read about You in the future, I'm sure You will realize what You wish! You can do it! And I do hope I can salute You on your birthday next year. I
promise I won't late! :-)

My mirror or "hero" /I hope it's correct/ everybody who can win against the cancer, who can beat it!
You're one of Them! I know...!

Have a nice day!
Best regards: Balazs from Hungary
/stayoutofmydreams@gmail.com/

1:55 PM

 

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